Vicky Knox's Diary

An entry for the Giltsharp Swiss Army Knife writing competition.

01 July

The bf gave me a v odd gift today. A Swiss Army knife, for goodness sake. What use is a Swiss Army knife to me? He really is frightfully odd, but terribly cute. Still, I’ll pop it in my handbag, just to keep him happy. It’s pretty teeny, so it doesn’t take up too much room in there and it has a keyring to fasten it to my keys.

13 July

The bf decided that he'd surprise me with a romantic picnic in the park today. What's romantic about sitting on the ground to eat, I don't know. He had gone to a lot of effort though, which was sweet. Of course, he had to forget something, didn’t he? He’d tried to be exotic and European by bringing a baguette (he thought it looked good sticking out of the end of the basket) and some a block of cheese (which smelled), but he’d not brought a knife to cut them with. Luckily, I remembered the Swiss Army knife bf gave me a few weeks ago and could use the thin blade on that to cut the bread and the cheese! At least he’d remembered the corkscrew…

15 July

Had v embarrassing getting-stuck-in-toilet-at-party incident at the barbecue we went to tonight. The lock just came off in my hand, silly thing! I tried shouting through the tiny window to the few people still outside that late but the music was far too loud, even in the garden. Even bf didn’t hear! Typical! Luckily, I remembered the Swiss Army knife bf gave me a few weeks ago and could use the pressurised LED laser pointer to attract his attention. The host was fetched and I was rescued. Still v embarrassing though, especially as boss was there.

18 July

Snagged a nail at work. Phoned bf, but got no sympathy! Luckily, I remembered the Swiss Army knife bf gave me a few weeks ago and could use the small scissors and nailfile to tidy myself up ready for v important lunch with boss. At lunch, boss dropped his glasses, popping out a lens. He was going to have to cut short the lunch (or miss his plate with the fork trying to eat). Luckily, I remembered the Swiss Army knife bf gave me a few weeks ago and could use the screwdriver to repair his glasses for him! After triumph of spectacle repair, boss asked me to prepare v important presentation for tomorrow’s meeting; I’d have to work on that at home, but my computer is broken after bf “fixed” it and I can’t check my email. Luckily, I remembered the Swiss Army knife bf gave me a few weeks ago and could use the detachable USB memory chip to take the work home.

19 July

Boss loved presentation and I’m getting promoted. Met bf for celebratory lunch and told him how useful his pressie was. He asked to see it and told me I’d not used one feature yet. He took out the ballpen, wrote something on the napkin and passed it across to me.

I read what he’d written, smiled and said “yes”.